Ticketbastard. I really like music. I really hate Ticketmaster.

Fees fees fees. I can't stand a bunch of fees. Tickets.com will charge one fee for one purchase, reasonable enough, after all, there is convenience buying tickets at home or at a store compared to having to drive 45 minutes or an hour to a venue. I don't mind paying a four or five dollar fee when I buy a couple tickets to a show in San Francisco. I don't like it, but hey, it's a service you pay for, and it's really not a horrible price. Whoa to the if you want to see a show at any venue sold by Ticketmaster. Holy crap. You bastardasses. Ticketbastard. I hate you to the very core of my living breath. Here is my favorite recent example. September 11th and 12th the Decemberists were playing at the Fillmore. I see the show and think, "awesome. I really want to see these guys. They are dressed as trees on the back cover of their latest album, and they have songs about pirates. I like pirates, I like trees. I like the Decemberists. I'm going to buy tickets." So these tickets, they're not to bad, $20 each. I can handle it. I haven't seen the band and I would really like to. So I click to buy. There's like a $7 fee, per ticket. "Yeesh" I say. I exit the site. No tickets for me today. So I go back to my everyday life, pissed that Ticketmaster would charge so much. I forget about it and work another week, and payday comes. "Yeah, I have some extra cash." Maybe I'll eat that $7 a ticket fee, that's $14 in fees for two tickets, but hey, I want to see them. So I go online. I click the tickets and am fully prepared to pay the outrageous fee. Bastards! Another fee. You assholes. A processing fee!!!? After the friggin $7 per ticket "convenience fee"!? I couldn't take it. I snapped. I hate these ticketbastards. Their fees are now my sworn enemy. The effers. I refused to buy. So I missed the show. I mean, after the fees were done, it was like buying three tickets, instead of two. Left me fuming. I'll catch them next time. The important thing is I didn't pay their ridiculous charges. If a show comes around at a ticketmaster controlled venue and I really want to see it, if I'm just dying to see it, then I will make the drive to buy from the venue. I will even scalp them. I would rather give some crazy scalper a few extra dollars then TM commonly known as TB. I would rather give my money to gas stations. I would rather eat shit. No...that's not true. This is: Ticketmaster, you will not get anymore of my money, I hope you die. As a corporation. I have nothing against people working the ticket booth. I've done it myself. Ticketmaster needs to go down though. They won't receive any of my meager funds. I'm sure that makes them sad. They mourn the loss of my business. They weep bitterly over my outright rejection of fees. This of course isn't true. They don't care. They don't know. They won't notice. I'll continue my fantasy though: they'll write a letter of apology along with free ticket vouchers...